six hours by sheepfulsheepyard: Featuring an engineering Luke of grumpy disposition who fully replaces a certain sith lord’s arm after a crash near Luke’s junkyard on Tatooine.
You know the hot ones series, with the sauces. I want us to consider something, which is how fundamentally hilarious it would be for Anakin and Obi-Wan to go on this series. I want you to imagine this, the funniest war propaganda they ever think of. Obi-Wan is red in the face, crying choking hoarse. But itâs like. Bottle four. Meanwhile, Anakin grew up in a culture where spice was used not only as flavor, but also a preservative. Heâs had curries that would make the inexperienced hallucinate. He coughs once to clear his throat when they get to âda bombâ, but then keeps talking. Obi-Wan is using all his Jedi reserve not to scream, and this man licks his fingers and is like :) Iâll take another
not to add onto this brilliance but i want to specify that they have to be on the same episode of hot ones. they are sitting next to each other while this happens. obi-wan was expected to do the talking and actual insert propaganda reel here but heâs suddenly incapable, rendered ineffective by the scolville scale and its torments, while anakin suddenly has to hold a conversation with a normal person. embarrassing for both of them. anakin talks about his favorite space celine dion album for 23 and ½ minutes
OH THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS PICTURING. Like at sauce six obi-wan is just staring at Anakin with objective repulsion. Genuine, real horror. And itâs bc Anakin is trying to explain this really deep, emotional concept the Jedi have about defending the innocent. And obi-wan stopped being able to feel his tongue two sauces ago
like a) anakin pulls the wine glass out of his sleeve and the host is sitting there, baffled, like why would anyone have this, is he being punked, and b) anakin takes the pepto bismol out of obi-wanâs belt, which implies a weird level of codependence the host canât think about. and then the entire time anakinâs saying some total nonsense about jedi theology. heâs like, âi dreamed of the jedi as a child - for i do not sleep, i only dream - and in those visions i foresaw heroes,â and the host has to both parse that and the wine glass-bismol tactical manuever, and the fact that obi-wan is grunting and panting like an exhausted boar before he finally snaps, âwhat are you fucking saying, anakin,â right in front of the camera. there is not enough milk in the universe for what obi-wanâs going through. i also think it is imperative that anakin is so invested in the nonsense heâs saying that he starts pouring out the pepto bismol about a solid inch from the actual glass itâs supposed to be in. it takes him most of the bottle to realize.
This is inspiring, but letâs go even further. I want their weird codependency to be on full scale. Anakin starts pouring it on the table, and obi-wan nudges the glass so it catches the medicine because frankly heâs starting to experience a ring of fire in his ass and theyâre only half way through. He needs that elixir. (I think he calls pepto bismol âmy stomach potionâ) Anakin keeps pouring until the glass is full, and obi-wan takes it and throws that shit back like heâs 20 at a house party with whiskey. He then puts it back under the spigot of medicine.
When Obi-Wan scolds him for spilling, they start arguing. They argue through the next two wings. The host is frantically looking at the crew filming this bc he has no idea if he needs to stop this. Anakin has begun gesturing menacingly with the chicken wings. The host desperately tries to run a bit where he pulls up funny clips of soldiers goofing off on the front, to make the war effort seem you know, funny and memeable. I mean they canât even air this.
brilliant evolution. i love the emphasis on the âtwo halves of the same warriorâ element of their relationship, and how absolutely baffling that has to look to a normal individual. making the âstomach potionâ bit a parenthetical statement was an inspired motion. 10/10 work.
i think the argument begins because obi-wan complains about the spillage (which is not insignificant, he really wasnât paying attention) and the anakin dumps the rest of the bottle in his lap, and as you have pointed out obi-wan desperately requires that elixir. âyou choose NOW to be yourself, of all times!â obi-wan yelps, dabbing at his now pink robes with a really pathetic cocktail napkin that managed to produce itself somewhere around when the wine glass did. there are other napkins. he just chose the smallest one. and then anakin snaps, âbold statement coming from you, you were BORN ANNOYING,â and obi-wan is still struggling with the stain, but instead of grabbing a larger napkin, he asks the host very politely for a glass of water and then dumps it in his own lap. like he just lost all ability to reason through the problem. after that inscrutable display, he turns to anakin and says, âyou have given me a migraine every day since i met you,â and thatâs when anakin grabs a dicarded wing bone and moves to use it like a shiv. the host mouths âhelpâ and thatâs when they try the War Crime Tiktoks
this is a confession to the star wars fandom because I have to get this off my chest. last summer just for fun I taught myself to read aurebesh and. you fanartists have Got to Continue putting the most Hilarious stuff into the background of your art because it is literally my favorite thing
here’s a couple of excellent things I’ve read since I started keeping a list just last month:
- “I hate drawing lightsabers”
- “Idk what to put here”
- “stupid fucking sign”
- “eat paste, it’s good”
- an entire news article on a phone screen which I actually found really impressive
- a few funny misspellings but the best one so far was ahsoka somehow becoming “asock”
- wanted poster of obi wan that read “wanted for fashion crimes”. the caption translated it as “wanted for high treason”. like blatantly lying to my face. love it.
hey, friends! call me yard, or sheep, or đ, or your choice. this is a star wars sideblog that spits out space memes and actual meta once in a blue moon. i'm real friendly! drop by my asks anytime.
